Motley

One thing it seems I have known all of my life is that what you believe about God is important.  My mom and her parents are all very dedicated Baptists, a deacon, a Sunday School teacher, and the church pianist.  I was there every time the doors were open, even when I got kicked out of children's choir I still had to go cause my mom had to be there.  Yes, I did get kicked out of children's choir and yes having to go hang out there anyway was pretty awkward.  My father's family on the other hand are Catholics.  My father is I guess a non-practicing Catholic not really sure how that works.  And his father was a Jehovah's witness.  When I was about 5, Granddaddy Carl told my dad that we could either become Jehovah's Witnesses or never see him again.  My dad told him to go to Hell, and he since has followed that advice.  The point of all of this is that it was burned into my mind at an early age that religion is the center of human life.

I spent the next 14 years trying desperately to not go to Hell.  I spent everyday trying to stop sinning and trying to believe in Jesus but it never worked.  I definitely didn't stop sinning and anything "spiritual" was a complete mystery to me.  The interesting part of this story happens when I am 19 and away at college.  I was unable to make any friends, basically my only human interaction came when my mom and my brother came and visited me.  And I realized with a cold shudder that neither one of them liked me.  They were nice to me because I was a son, a brother but never because I was me.  And I came to see that this wasn't something awful, it was in fact exactly right.  You see there was nothing likable about me.  And as I looked I realized that there was nothing good about me either.  I came, with great sadness, to see why all of my efforts to be saved had never gotten me anywhere.  You see, me and my sin are inseparable.  My self and my sin are one and the same.  Sin is my essence-in other words I would not be ME if I was not sinning.  If you took the sin away there would be nothing left.  And at that moment I was glad that I was going to Hell.  I knew, for the first time, that Hell was exactly where I belonged.  My damnation would be the removal of a plague from the world.  Damning me is exactly what a real Savior would do.

And so I prayed, harder than I had ever prayed to be saved or to stop sinning with real earnestness for the first time, I prayed that God would kill me.  I had finally found a God worth believing in- one who was willing to damn me for the sake of the world was a God worth worshiping.  I believed that I had screwed up the Gospel, I was the one that the forgiveness of sins could never reach.  I knew then that the Law was good and the commandment good, and holy, and just.  And it entered my mind that such a God could do the impossible.  I had despaired of all of the systems and solutions I had heard about all of my life.  But this one fugitive hope was left to me, the God who does the impossible.

Or do you not know, brethren (for I speak to those who know the law), that the law has dominion over a man as long as he lives? ² For the woman who has a husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he lives. But if the husband dies, she is released from the law of her husband. ³ So then if, while her husband lives, she marries another man, she will be called an adulteress; but if her husband dies, she is free from that law, so that she is no adulteress, though she has married another man. ⁴ Therefore, my brethren, you also have become dead to the law through the body of Christ, that you may be married to another—to Him who was raised from the dead, that we should bear fruit to God. ⁵ For when we were in the flesh, the sinful passions which were aroused by the law were at work in our members to bear fruit to death. ⁶ But now we have been delivered from the law, having died to what we were held by, so that we should serve in the newness of the Spirit and not in the oldness of the letter. Romans 7

I didn't know it, but I had been made free from the Law, by my prayer for death being answered.  I believed then in what is called the "Third Use of the Law", that Christians although they won't be punished for not following the Law are still required to follow it.  You can be a Christian without following the Law just not a "good" Christian.  At the time I still thought that "the Law" only described the written code, actually I thought that the only part of the Law we had truly been set free from was the "ceremonial law" and that the "moral law" was still binding on us.  God had revealed Himself and His salvation to me but they were obscured by the traditions I had been taught in the church.  The interpretations that we give to the Bible had made the Bible itself of no effect.

I know now that the Law cannot be divided.  This is a very imaginative way that we have come up with to make the Gospel meaningless.  As James teaches the Law stands or falls as a whole, if you offend in one point you offend the whole Law.  Nowhere in Scripture are we told to divide the Law or where and how to do such a thing.  We simply made up a division because freedom is too frightening to us.

Another division that existed in my mind was between the Law and Love.  I thought that Moses Law was an old law which had between replaced with a new law, a Law of Love.  But Christ teaches that the whole law hangs-literally "depends"-from love.  Perhaps the sense will be conveyed if we reverse the imagery, Love is the foundation of the Law.  The command to love is a legal command.  And so, I believe that the Law, in Romans 7 as elsewhere, refers not simply to the written code.  It refers to all of justice, all of common sense, everything that is obviously and naturally right.  It is all of those things that have failed us, or rather that once we failed them they were able to do nothing for us.

I hope I have already sufficiently described the goodness of the Law.  Let me be clear, the Law's failure is not a failure of something bad or weak, the Law's failure is the failure of the best created thing.  Higher than any archangel, the Law blazes forth a fire and a light revealing all things, but everything it reveals is corrupt.  It is a light shining on a wasteland where our sins have like locusts destroyed everything good.  The kindly Law sees our misery even when we cannot and would peacefully put us away like a lame horse.  The Law is not helpless, it is armed to fix what is wrong with the world, it is in fact a Savior, saving the universe from me.

Therefore did that which is good become a cause of death for me? May it never be! Rather it was sin, in order that it might be shown to be sin by effecting my death through that which is good, so that through the commandment sin would become utterly sinful. Romans 7:13

My sin has corrupted the best thing that God ever made and all lesser things with it.  That is the one true measure of my depravity.  It is so bad that it has made everything that nature and sense can find that is right into a tragedy.  Creation which was once very good; I have made very bad.  But, if all of Creation, all reason and sense are corrupt what remains?  The Creator Himself remains- and so does Nonsense.

When the world was made, good things were obviously good and bad things were obviously bad.  Goodness made sense.  But we corrupted all of that and left nothing to God except for Nonsense.  This is the foolishness of the Cross, and this is why the kingdom of Heaven is a kingdom of Children.  The wisdom of the Greeks is in the same boat as the law of the Jews. And so with Divine foolishness, Our Savior kills men and makes them alive.  The Righteous Judge condemns the Innocent and acquits the guilty, and is all the more righteous for it.  The loving Father murders His Son and the Lord of Hosts sues for peace.  A man ready to murder his son becomes the Father of the Righteous, and an adulterer is a man after God's own heart.  So hear the words of a man who abandoned the zenith of religion to be a joke,

¹⁸ Let no one deceive himself. If anyone among you seems to be wise in this age, let him become a fool that he may become wise. ¹⁹ For the wisdom of this world is foolishness with God. For it is written, “He catches the wise in their own craftiness”;  ²⁰ and again, “The Lord knows the thoughts of the wise, that they are futile.” 1 Corinthians 3

 ⁹ For I think that God has displayed us, the apostles, last, as men condemned to death; for we have been made a spectacle to the world, both to angels and to men. ¹⁰ We are fools for Christ’s sake, but you are wise in Christ! We are weak, but you are strong! You are distinguished, but we are dishonored! ¹¹ To the present hour we both hunger and thirst, and we are poorly clothed, and beaten, and homeless. ¹² And we labor, working with our own hands. Being reviled, we bless; being persecuted, we endure; ¹³ being defamed, we entreat. We have been made as the filth of the world, the offscouring of all things until now. 1 Corinthians 4

 What does all of this mean?  Throw away the systems and the wisdom of Christianity.  Let the Christians do what they will, join the company of the Apostles.  Put on the motley and you will have a place in Heaven for the Fool is always called into the King's presence.  

When Christianity came into the world, it did not need to call attention (even though it did so) to the fact that it was contrary to human nature and human understanding, for the world discovered that easily enough. But now that we are on intimate terms with Christianity, we must awaken the collision. The possibility of offense must again be preached to life. Only the possibility of offense (the antidote to the apologists’ sleeping potion) is able to waken those who have fallen asleep, is able to break the spell so that Christianity is itself again. Woe to him, therefore, who preaches Christianity without the possibility of offense. Woe to the person who smoothly, flirtatiously, commendingly, convincingly preaches some soft, sweet something which is supposed to be Christianity! Woe to the person who makes miracles reasonable. Woe to the person who betrays and breaks the mystery of faith, distorts it into public wisdom, because he takes away the possibility of offense! Woe to the person who speaks of the mystery of the Atonement without detecting in it anything of the possibility of offense. Woe again to him who thinks God and Christianity are something for study and discussion. Woe to every unfaithful steward who sits down and writes false proofs, winning friends for themselves and for Christianity by writing off the possibility of offense. Oh, the learning and acumen tragically wasted. Oh, the time wasted in this enormous work of making Christianity so reasonable, and in trying to make it so relevant! Only when Christianity rises up again, powerful in the possibility of offense, only then will it need no artful defenders. The more skillful, the more articulate, the more excellent the defense, however, the more Christianity is disfigured, abolished, exhausted like an emasculated man. Christianity ought not to be defended, at least not on the world’s terms. It is we who should see whether we can justify ourselves. It is we who must choose: either to be offended or to accept Christianity. Therefore, take away from Christianity the possibility of offense or take away from the forgiveness of sin the battle of an anguished conscience. Then lock the churches, the sooner the better, or turn them into places of amusement which stand open all day long! -S. Kierkegaard

 God's Own Fool
 

The Devil, the Key, and the Steward

When I think about people that I have been told I am like in my life, the most frequent is my dad, and after him my granddaddy, and after him the Devil.  Now, typically I have tried to deny these comparisons, but it seems I am about to have to admit the similarity to the Devil.  I have plenty of sins but that is not what I am thinking of.  I am about to do his job.  He is the Accuser of God's people, and I have a monster of a charge to bring against them.

It was about seven years ago now when it started.  I got a call from my bank, or a letter I don't remember which, but they said they thought there might have been fraud on my account and they needed me to come up there.  When I got there they showed me a check with my signature on it, only it wasn't my signature.  It said my name but I hadn't written it.  Strange but it got even stranger.  I looked at the check, it was my check, for a bill I had paid, with my signature, obviously written by someone else.  After a minute I started laughing and then it began to dawn on me that something serious was happening here that was significant even if it wasn't what I thought.  I told them that I had written the check and that the signature was mine.  Why?  My wife had signed my name on the check.  And after I thought about it a minute I realized that she had a perfect right to.  I gave her my name.  It is hers to do with as she pleases.  She can conduct any business in my name that she wants to.  And that is my beef with the church.

²¹ So Jesus said to them again, “Peace to you! As the Father has sent Me, I also send you.” ²² And when He had said this, He breathed on them, and said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit. ²³ If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.” John 20

The Power of the Keys, the power to forgive sin, has a long history.  Its abuse in the selling of indulgences, and the requirement of confession to a priest was one of the main complaints of Martin Luther and protestants since against the Church of Rome.  And so all too many protestants deny the Power of the Keys altogether.  It is common to be told that only God can forgive sin, the same complaint the Pharisees leveled against Christ right before He healed a crippled man to prove His power to forgive.  But the truth is that Christians of all stripes are using this power all the time, and that is my complaint against them.

Anyone who has been in an evangelical church knows what it is like to try and get them to let go of a sin.  They have the power to release men from sin and the power to bind them to it.  And they choose to bind them.  The truth of the charge is too notorious to need proof.  Denying the Power of the Keys is their one defense, that they aren't really doing anything, that they have no power.

But is that who Christ is, someone who says He is giving us something and the something is nothing?  Is He a big talker, with nothing to back it up?  No.  He was speaking the absolute, plain truth.  The Bride has power to conduct business in the Bridegroom's name, just like my wife does in my name.  The Church is given the power to heal, physical and spiritual, disease.  And the power to cast men into Hell on Earth.  And we have chosen to hang onto their sins.  I can't let go of my sins or anybody else's.  But I want to.  I want to be different than I am.

16 He also said to His disciples: “There was a certain rich man who had a steward, and an accusation was brought to him that this man was wasting his goods. ² So he called him and said to him, ‘What is this I hear about you? Give an account of your stewardship, for you can no longer be steward.’

³ “Then the steward said within himself, ‘What shall I do? For my master is taking the stewardship away from me. I cannot dig; I am ashamed to beg. ⁴ I have resolved what to do, that when I am put out of the stewardship, they may receive me into their houses.’
⁵ “So he called every one of his master’s debtors to him, and said to the first, ‘How much do you owe my master?’ ⁶ And he said, ‘A hundred measures^[a] of oil.’ So he said to him, ‘Take your bill, and sit down quickly and write fifty.’ ⁷ Then he said to another, ‘And how much do you owe?’ So he said, ‘A hundred measures of wheat.’ And he said to him, ‘Take your bill, and write eighty.’ ⁸ So the master commended the unjust steward because he had dealt shrewdly. For the sons of this world are more shrewd in their generation than the sons of light.
⁹ “And I say to you, make friends for yourselves by unrighteous mammon, that when you fail, they may receive you into an everlasting home. ¹⁰ He who is faithful in what is least is faithful also in much; and he who is unjust in what is least is unjust also in much. ¹¹ Therefore if you have not been faithful in the unrighteous mammon, who will commit to your trust the true riches? ¹² And if you have not been faithful in what is another man’s, who will give you what is your own?
¹³ “No servant can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon.” Luke 16

Does this parable fit me?  I have been wasting God's grace just like the steward wasted money.  But more to the point I have been made a steward of the Lord's business-which is the forgiveness of sins.  And so have you.  What am I suggesting?  I am suggesting that the Pope's problem is not that he forgives sins but that he charges for it, and that he retains some sins.  I am suggesting that if the store is going out of business all the inventory must go.  Let's forgive all sins.  Let's forgive sins that no one has ever forgiven before.  Let's charge less for it than anybody has ever charged before.  I have already screwed up my own life about as badly as I can I assume that "what I have coming to me" will be here before long, I am the devil after all.  So I am going to use my power and position while I still can.  You forgive me and I'll forgive you.

How Can It Be?

You Might Be Surprised Who Is In Heaven

Human psychology is a sick, sad, strange, twisted thing.  Because we do not wish to grasp the truth; we have become unable to grasp the truth.  Two of the strongest forces in our minds are what are known as "confirmation bias" and "disconfirmation bias".   

Confirmation bias, also called confirmatory bias or myside bias, is the tendency to search for, interpret, favor, and recall information in a way that confirms one's beliefs or hypotheses, while giving disproportionately less consideration to alternative possibilities. -Wikipedia

Disconfirmation bias refers to the tendency for people to extend critical scrutiny to information which contradicts their prior beliefs and accept uncritically information that is congruent with their prior beliefs. -psychology.wikia.com

Basically, it is very difficult for us to think a thought which does not agree with what we already believe.  What's worse, even when we see evidence that we are wrong we tend to forget it or think it is unimportant.  Our desperate need to be right has turned on us and imprisoned us in foolishness and lies.  The things we think we know the best, it often turns out we don't know at all...

⁶ So the Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry? And why has your countenance fallen? ⁷ If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin lies at the door. And its desire is for you, but you should, shall rule over it.”
⁸ Now Cain talked with Abel his brother; and it came to pass, when they were in the field, that Cain rose up against Abel his brother and killed him.
⁹ Then the Lord said to Cain, “Where is Abel your brother?”
He said, “I do not know. Am I my brother’s keeper?”
¹⁰ And He said, “What have you done? The voice of your brother’s blood cries out to Me from the ground. ¹¹ So now you are cursed from the earth, which has opened its mouth to receive your brother’s blood from your hand. ¹² When you till the ground, it shall no longer yield its strength to you. A fugitive and a vagabond you shall be on the earth.”
¹³ And Cain said to the Lord, “My punishment is greater than I can bear! ¹⁴ Surely You have driven me out this day from the face of the ground; I shall be hidden from Your face; I shall be a fugitive and a vagabond on the earth, and it will happen that anyone who finds me will kill me.”
¹⁵ And the Lord said to him, “Therefore, whoever kills Cain, vengeance shall be taken on him sevenfold.” And the Lord set a mark on Cain, lest anyone finding him should kill him. Genesis 4

We all know this story.  Righteous Abel is killed by jealous Cain because God prefers Abel and his offering to Cain and his offering.  God then rains down wrath on Cain making the rest of his life a living hell, before presumably going to a literal hell.  I first began to suspect that we might have this story wrong looking at verse 15.

It seems a strange part of Cain's punishment to protect his life, but more than the mere protection of his life, consider the comfort that is here given to Cain.  God tells Cain that He values His life; He tells him that his fears are unfounded, and He gives him a sign by which he may be sure of the promise.  Now, we read this and say that God only acts thus because Cain complained, He showed a fragment of mercy in the midst of overwhelming punishment.  But look more carefully at Cain's prayer-Cain's answered prayer.  Although the Lord had only mentioned a punishment in this world, Cain shows what he is really afraid of when he adds, "I shall be hidden from your face.", before giving any consideration to the earthly punishment.   Also, God said nothing about anyone killing Cain.  Only Cain's own sense of justice could have supplied this idea.  I also find it curious that Cain, the farmer, seems unmoved by the loss of his occupation.  Cain takes no thought for how he will survive in an earthly sense, but is primarily troubled by the thought of falling from grace-losing God's presence and favor-represented by His face, and being overtaken by justice.

Consider this.  If God's punishment of Cain was just, and Cain was correct in saying, "My punishment is more than I can bear.", which we may fairly consider the just punishment of sin to be more than any man can bear; then a just God could not omit or lessen Cain's punishment without the presence of a Substitute.  God doesn't require anything from Cain to save his life, he doesn't tell him to do better, straighten up his act, or even say the Sinner's Prayer.  Cain could go kill fifty more people and still enjoy God's protection.  There are no conditions on this gift.  But somebody always pays for grace.  In fact, many of the older Jewish commentaries(Targums), understand verse 7 to be talking not of sin stalking Cain as our translations suggest, but a SIN OFFERING which would soon be made for Cain's sin.  As much as I would like to drive the point home, I have already overindulged my argumentative tendencies.

So many people talk highly of "soul-searching", of looking deep in your heart to find those secret sins.  Cain had no need to cast a penetrating gaze on his secret motivations to see himself as a sinner.  When Cain felt guilty before God it wasn't because he missed church or forgot to read his bible everyday, the chief sins that we find in ourselves.  And however we understand verse 7, Cain knew for sure that he could not conquer his sin, could not overcome it.  He knew what I know now.  That sin is who we are.  There is no part of me that is not saturated with sin.  There is nothing good in me.  If you are having to look long and deep to find your sin, try this.  Ask anybody who knows you.  If they are honest they will tell you that you are a self-righteous jackass, the kind of person who makes an offering to God with hatred for his brother in his heart-like me, like Cain.

The idea that Cain represents the unchristian world and Abel represents the Christians is self-serving bull.  If you want to see yourself in this story, you are Cain.  And Christ is Abel.  He is the righteous one that was hated without a cause, and me?  I am the bastard that killed Him, and for reasons that make the human brain explode, I am being offered God's comfort and protection.  He has marked me with His mark-the mark of a man who is unmistakably a sinner but divinely protected from his just punishment-the mark of Cain.

"Christianity is not about moving away from vice to virtue.  It's moving away from virtue to Christ."-Rod Rosenbladt